Flamboyant University of Nairobi student leader Babu Owino won the ODM party primaries and will now battle it out with other contestants in the race to represent the people of Embakasi East in parliament.
While his Babu’s pomposity is well documented, his verbosity draws attention. A creative Kenyan, Arap Doyo toyed with the idea of what Babu’s maiden speech would mostly look like:
The Year is 2017, Last week of August and Babu Owino is the Mp, Embakasi East
He is making his maiden speech.
“Mr Speaker, Tialalalala.
No matter how lazy a woman is, she cannot forget her behind at home. No matter how short a man is,he cannot be shorter than his penis. Parliament power! Honorable Members akchuu. Women Reps riiaaaah. Mr Speaker, I will make my speech and I will be brief like a cockrel on top of a hen.
When i was the Sonu chair,comrades ate
chicken, when i left they ate like chicken,and today they’re eating with chicken. That is the power of Babu Owino.
Mr Speaker tiiaaalala!
I’m proud to have studied at the ONLY University not named after dead people.But SONU is dead,and it didn’t die a natural death. It was killed by the adminstration after I left. Pray for SONU.
On Embakasi East, my people disappointed the former dishonorable MP and appointed me. Yes, the fly that patches on the scrotum must be handled delicately.Whether quail eggs fall on the balls or the balls fall on the quail eggs,it is the quail eggs that break.
Mr Speaker Akchuu!
My opponents were puppets of the satan. And God was dissapointed with them. He had to call me to come and send them to oblivion. They were disloyal to the people. And the voice People is the voice of God.
Mr Speaker, Tialala,
I was voted in overwhelmingly. My opponent was competing with spoilt votes and was multipled by zero to power infinity. The Power of Embakasi People can only be rivalled by God’s Power. Kenya Power, Pakapower and Power plus cannot match the power of my people.
Time has come for change, the Embakasi East needs change. A man cannot uses a condom twice. I shall work for my people with zeal and zest like the uncastatrated bulls of Spain.
The people of Embakasi Tibim. I won’t let you down.
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