My First 42: What I am Craving

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By Nancy Cherotich

One of the most frequently asked question when I meet people and they realize that the bulge I have is not just evidence of the cakes chocolates and fries I have indulged in over the years, is what my  baby or rather my pregnancy craves for.

I have also been asked if I hate anyone or anything. This question always makes me think really hard because I have never had any strong urge to consistently want to eat something or hate someone or something simply because I am expectant.

There have been incidences where I have daydreamed about having some juicy nyama choma or just getting my hand on boiled githeri  with avocado and black tea, but it has never been that strong craving that make people do the crazy things I have heard people do when they are expectant. I am yet to wake my husband up in the middle of the night to demand for sparkling water (This would have been interesting though). I am yet to cry or throw a tantrum because I could not get or afford what I wanted so badly.

I had a friend who loved pumpkin leaves so much when she was expectant that she once called me crying hysterically because she could not find them in the market. I also do not hate anyone or anything. I might be a little bit short tempered but I think I have always been so. My pregnancy has not refused anyone, yet.

Suggested Reading: First 42: Getting The News And An Incurable Laziness

Sometimes I wish that I had certain preferences courtesy of cravings and just pull crazy stunts because I know people are always very forgiving to pregnant women. I would love to see someone’s face when I wake them up in the middle of the night and tell them that I would love to smell petrol or eat oreos bought from a particular store. I would love to know how it feels to want something so bad to the point of shedding tears.

Is it an urge that comes so strongly that you cannot be able to distract yourself and forget about it? I also want to know why these children make us eat the most interesting of foods. I love my githeri not fried. It would be interesting to know what makes us hate someone for no reason at all or love someone you probably did not care that much about in the first place.

I was joking with my friends yesterday and I told them all I can crave for is money. It is intriguing how a little person with the help of hormones can completely control your body and actions. How they can decide to make your nose so big, give your skin a new shade or acne, make your feet swell, make you totally dependent on a weird diet and make you love or hate things and people you sometimes do not know.

Every woman will tell you that pregnancy changes something in them. The moment you realize that you are expectant; you immediately know that life will never be the same as you knew it. When I got pregnant with my first born, I was young and naïve. My biggest worry at that time was how I was going to get fat and loose my great body. It scared me that I consistently worked out through my pregnancy. I wanted to go back to be the same person immediately after giving birth. I wanted people to say that I did not look like I had given birth because my body was still sexy as ever. I did give birth and lost the baby weight very first but I realized that one can never run away from motherhood.

My worries changed and all that mattered to me was being close to my baby. There were moments when I could be with friends and the breasts could get full to the point that the breast pads could not help and I had to rush home and wake up the baby so that he could feed. I remember this time I had gone with my son at the Baby Banda Fair and at one point my son started to cry. I figured out that he was angry so I asked for a seat and started to breastfeed him. Some older women standing nearby pointed at me and some sneered as others giggled. I did not know that I had to cover my breasts when breastfeeding and I got really hurt that I cried and it took me a while to go out in public with him. If that happened right now, a middle finger would be thrown in the air.

This time round I have realized that I would now be in charge of two human beings and that is all I worry about. The day I collapsed made me realize that if I breathe my last, the people who will never be able to replace me or forget about me are my babies and for that reason I should make every day with them count. I will take care of my body but the fact that some people think that I am just fat and not pregnant, does not make me worry or become sad. The things that worried me before are now not as significant as the thought of being a mother of two. I am learning to prioritize my thoughts and emotions and I can tell you for a fact that the glow is back.

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